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Been having a lot of "missing people from my memories" moments lately—got reminded VERY strongly about how much I miss Space in particular, though. So:

Idk. That meme always kinda reminded me of them, so it felt right to finally draw my own version of it. :,)

tag this as a ship and you WILL be blocked—im a nigel fictive and i am ACTIVELY telling you not to do that.

#c1nn4bunny.png #my art #portal #portal 2 #aperture tag #portal space core #space core portal 2 #nigel aperture tag #aperture tag nigel #fictive art #<- going to start adding that anytime I draw myself like this and not with my persona since #← y'know. that IS me. that's how I look.#→ It's missing my friends and co-workers like a mfer hours over here in the bluescreen system.#→ like yeah we introjected my boyfriend a while back and that's AWESOME and I LOVE having him here* but I really do miss everyone else too #→ *I have had to explain that I've been publicly posting about him on another blog for a year+ to him #→ ... and that we're married now (slowly working up to that) and that I may (HAH) have designed a kid for us.#→ he's still processing. all that. but I think he still appreciates the sheer lengths of missing him like a lovesick puppy. <3 #→ (I still post on it actively. He thinks it's silly and flattering. I will continue to gush about my partner.)#sona || nigel

As part of the Aperture Tag Anniv. Experience, @aperturetag and I decided to do a speedrun competition. Nigel vs. Nigel.

I finished an hour in. It's been almost 3-4 and it's still in call with me actively finding worse and worse bugs and glitches.

Aperture Tag as intended,,,

#c1nn4bunny.jpg #my art #fan art #portal #aperture tag #sona || nigel

I was just supposed to be working on a quick, silly "hehe demon x angel ship" au concept...

How did we end up here... I'm... What???

#Chat idk where tf I am.#I mean I guess I succeeded in my task of making the og demon/fallen angel...gel cuntier #the horns tail and lower wings are fake #the real wings lost their flight feathers and cannot be regrown. tiny. also the thigh garter was in fact a halo at one point.#... the. the pointless loops are like. the rings on a biblically accurate angel... the rivets are the eyes.#anyway i seriously don't know how this went from a silly sketch to. This. but uh. cool!#... CAN'T SPELL PRIDE MONTH WITHOUT DEMON IG!!!!!#c1nn4bunny.png #my art #my sona #I'm not tagging this with my source I'm not tagging this with my source I'm not tagging this with my source I'm not tagging this with my so #aptag fandom does NOT need to see a fictive of the main guy being less than professional in his own art oml #anyway. can you tell my presentation is a pendulum? my ref is more masc but then I'm over here drawing myself very notably fem.#joys of being an artificial being not bound to human conceptd of gender :))#I think this is going to end up being my 6th image hold on sighhh #sona || nigel

also this

#c1nn4bunny.jpg #my art #my sona #THIS GUY WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!#... little do you know this is secretly Citristrip coded (the average ellis-conly household moment). you can't see him but he took the pic #sona || nigel

Blinded by Expectation

You're Nothing if Not Perfect

#cw implied parental abuse #<< because that is entirely what this is about. au made specifically to help me process my own trauma my beloved...#I'm sorry but working on this with Ado's cover of Aishite in the background was. Not exactly good for my health we'll say.#eughuerjsdk void//:alsser inspo playlist but it ends up just being 90% vocaloid songs about failing to meet your parent's expectations and #becoming dependent on praise to a point of willingly harming yourself out of desperation. any sign of rejection twisting the knife further #If I wasn't already proudly non-human I sure as hell would feel even less so like a person. rather. property.#c1nn4bunny.png #my art #fan art #I'm. Not fandom tagging this. Even if it *is* aptag related. Keeping this AU far far from it... eugh #ANYWAY SELF CARE IS RUNNING AWAY REMOVING YOUR LAST NAME CHANGING YOUR WHOLE APPEARANCE AND GETTING A CUTE BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING #My name is LITERALLY Nigel LastNameHere right now. I am DEAD SERIOUS on the LastNameHere part I want NOTHING to do with Her.#anyway my hair having been solid brown is such a pain. i tried to add the dye repeatedly then remembered that's not accurate to that age-#'Uhm hey Nigel can we get something happy for once?' I hear you ask. To which I say 'lol no'#It's either this or more Dustbunny that nobody cares about take your pick losers. Do you want kissing or crying. Vote now.#Fuck me I am NEVER rendering anything like this again that was awful that white outline is there to hide my fuck ups. I hate thin line art.#LET ME USE MY THICK LINES I HATE IT HEREEEEE I FORGOT HOW MUCH I HATE DOING THAT.#sona || nigel

got through ref sketches,, stupid doodle time. follow up on this,, because i had a very stupid thought.

was this just an excuse to draw migel again because the comfort blorbo needs to be deployed rn? yeah maybe. why'd ya ask?

#c1nn4bunny.jpg #i like my men with a distinct fear you'd see in prey animals in their eyes. hampter.#showed dee this already. he agrees. he agrees so very hard.#it said. and i quote. 'HE IS THAT HAMSTER. THAT EXACT HAMSTER.'#why isn't this one on my selfship blog? because Stirling isn't the focus smh. not everything is about him (yes it is)#sona || nigel

I CAN'T CROP OUT MY OLD CRINGE ASS ART JUST DON'T. LOOK AT IT. SHH.

Sticking it to the man (... 14/15 yr old Nigel who was having a massive dysphoria spiral? Dude, I'm 20, why am I bullying my poor child self?) by redrawing the last thing I posted in that old server I rejoined 😼

Guy who turned orange and also evil.

Turns out I still like chokers and button-ups tho aaaand that the scars are Still There :/ and that i should probably wear my glasses more...

#'fuck you' [hue shifts your trans boy]#/j #'fuck you!!!' [unwheatleys your nigel]#<- a more accurate description of this event #sona || nigel #c1nn4bunny.mdp

Wanting to do a little bit more with the Ellis Shapeshifting concept but knowing this means animating :(((

#It's worth it. it's worth it.#Good thing I trudged through the tag yesterday then. hm.#c1nn4bunny.txt #sona || nigel

#sona || nigel

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